Self-Care Sunday - When your mind works against you.

Happy self-care Sunday!

Today my mood dropped into the "what's the point?" Pit. I am trying to trust that one day I'll be okay, my nervous system will be able to settle, I won't be constantly on guard and I won't feel like the majority of my life has been a waste.

I was supposed to take my daughter swimming, but I really couldn't manage it. I had an order to pick up from Primark and today was my last day, so I managed to get to town with my 2 daughters.

My self-care today consisted of spending money, but this time I don't have the usual guilt because I had some saved for paying someone to lay my stairs carpet, but since nobody wanted the job, the kids dad did it (I supervised slightly). I did it myself last time, but this time I was absolutely not. So basically it's spending money. Oftentimes when I'd sink into these moods, I'd use my credit cards and spend a ton of money. Then I'd feel like crap afterwards. At one point I relied on my daily packages for the pick-me-up effect and I'd be drowning myself in debt. I still now feel panicky whenever there's money in my bank, I have to withdraw it otherwise I'll spend it, or just be worried about spending it. I have all my bills coming out of a separate account and everything else I use cash.

But today it was nice not to worry about that. Though it'll be especially nice when I'm earning enough to not have to worry so much about how much I spend.

Here's hoping next week is a bit better.

What did you do for self-care today?

Be Well

Suzanne